So I was surprised, even shocked, when Brooklyn informed me that I don’t love her. Now this was not the manipulative, I am upset so I am going to tell you I don’t love you kind of a statement. This was something that I could tell was really bothering her and coming from her heart. I was crushed. Worry immediately filled my body as I wondered what I was doing wrong as a mom. So we loaded up in the car and went for a drive so we could talk (definitely the way that she opens up). I asked her why she thought that I didn’t love her. Her response through her tears: “you never draw me pictures or send me cards in the mail.” And in that moment I realized that we were speaking different languages–love languages that is. I show my love by doing things for other people and spending time with them, but that is not what she was expecting. One way she shows love is by drawing pictures for people and sending them cards and letters in the mail. I guess I never really thought about it before. I wasn’t speaking HER language, I was speaking mine and she wasn’t understanding me. She expects me to do all of these things because I am her mom and that is what I have always done. She really doesn’t know any different. She was wanting me to show her that I love her through pictures and letters just as she shows me.

So when Brooklyn climbed in bed that night I had a picture waiting for her on her pillow. It was simple but she understood that I loved her. The smile on her face when I came to tuck her in was priceless. She told me how much she loved her picture. It is amazing how her whole attitude has changed from such a simple thing. I just needed to speak her language. You have better believe that the next book I will be reading is all about the love languages (I just got in the mail and I can’t wait).

I love you, Brooklyn!

One of Talmage’s favorite things to do is to play the keyboard. He always has the biggest smile on his face and laughs as he bangs on the keys. He is my little Mozart I tell you. He loves music! I can’t help but smile seeing him sitting on the stool playing away. He just looks so tiny in front on the big keyboard, his legs just kicking away. It really is the cutest thing ever!

The first week of school was rough on Brigham and his poor teacher. Brigham is my strong-willed kid and knows what he wants out of life. And he knows that he doesn’t like to be away from mom at school or church so when it comes time to drop him off I have to muster all of the energy that I possibly can because I know that it is going to be a struggle for both of us. The first day as all of the other kids are calmly waiting to go inside Brigham was hitting and kicking his teacher with all his might. I really don’t think his intention was to hurt her, but he has the fight or flight response and since he couldn’t run, he was fighting. She drug him in to class and I left crying. This repeated on the second day, but then the third day came. His friend came to pick him up for school and I was prepared for a fight and thought for sure I would have to take him to school because there was no way that he was getting in that car. 

But a miracle happened.

Brigham grabbed his backpack and ran to the car. He got in without a tear and not even a word a complaint. I am not kidding you. I sat there in absolute disbelief as they drove off down the road. I immediately called Troy to tell him because this was huge. He grew up a bit that day. He ventured out on his own and he has been fine everyday since. 

As I sit here I am still wondering what brought the change. I imagine that angels must have been by his side to comfort him. I know that you are thinking that I am being totally dramatic right now, but I am really not trying to be. This really is a struggle for Brigham. He struggled almost everyday last year going to preschool and he was with his aunt that he loved so much. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders since I don’t have to worry about him quite as much knowing that he is happy. 

And it happened again at church today. I went with him to sharing time. But I was thrilled I could even get him in the door because, let’s face it, sharing time is pretty chaotic and loud.  And then he just walked right into his class by himself and told me bye. Amazing. 

Brigham has a very special and strong spirit. He has an important mission on this earth. I can feel it. He has incredible traits that are going to help him do some amazing things in his life. My job as his mother is to help him figure out how to manage and direct his energy and determination. I have a lot to learn, but I know that I can do it because I have the help of so many people that love us both. Some days I just need a little reminder that the Lord is on my side and he is willing to step in with a miracle.

Brooklyn: “Mom, I don’t want to go to school today.”

Me: “Why, Sweetie?”

Brooklyn: “I already know everything so I don’t need to go anymore.”

Me: (Laughing) “You are very smart for a 1st grader but you still have A LOT to learn. I still learn things everyday and so does dad. Nobody knows everything.”

Brooklyn: “Heavenly Father knows everything and He is somebody.”

Me: “You got me there, but besides Heavenly Father and Jesus, nobody knows everything so you ARE going to school today.”

Brooklyn: “Fine, but I already know everything.” 

I guess I didn’t realize that you hit the height of all learning once you enter the 1st grade, but apparently I have a genius on my hands. LOL. I sure love my smarty pants, she definitely keeps me laughing. I think she honestly believes that there is nothing else to learn. Jokes on her :)!

I had the pleasure of photographing this cutie today. It was nice to pick up the camera and take some pictures for other people again. I haven’t been taking clients since Talmage was born as I just want to be a mom right now, but when my best friend from junior high and high school asked me to take pictures of her new baby I just couldn’t pass it up. We had a great time hanging out with her girls even if we were sweating in this horrible heat.

Before school on the first day we seriously had less than 5 minutes to take a few pictures but it is tradition and must be done. Brooklyn looked so cute in her new outfit. I loved that she wanted pigtails on the first day. To me this means she is still my little girl. I already feel her slipping away so quickly that I am trying to hold on to anything that I can. She was so excited for the first day, but also a little nervous since she started a new school and didn’t know anyone in her class. But, of course, she made a new friend on the first day of school and loves being in first grade. 

Brigham looks so big to me all ready for preschool. How did that happen? 

By the time we got to school the excitement faded and the nerves set in. Brooklyn did awesome and went right to class.

Brigham had a harder time. He still loves being with his mom and didn’t understand why he needed to leave me to go to school. His poor teacher had to pry him off of me and drag him into class, but once he was in there his teacher said he did awesome. He got to be the helper of the day. It was the first time that I have ever climbed back in my car and cried when I dropped my kids off at school. It was so sad to see him scared and upset, but I also knew that this is what was best for him. He needs to learn that he is capable of doing things on his own. He is an amazing boy. I can see it. He just needs to learn that for himself.

When I picked him up we went and got frozen yoguart and talked about all the great things about school. Hopefully every day will get a little bit easier and he will learn to love school. Hey, a mother can always dream right? 

My babies are growing up.

I absolutely loved watching the kids on the beach. They all had so much fun. Brooklyn loved playing in the waves and sand with her cousins. She definitely is my “California Girl” with her messy blonde hair and wetsuit. She loved roaming the condo and acting like a teenager. She was given the nickname “preteen” since she had an attitude all week. I knew that I would eventually be an embarrassing mom that was so not cool, but I really didn’t think that would happen when my daughter was only 6. I do love bugging her about it though which just makes her more upset :). She enjoyed the freedom and could usually be found playing with Kiley and her other cousins. 

Brigham of course spent most of his time surfing. He would only stop for some snacks from Aunt Jer. I loved seeing him wet and sandy and wanting to have a towel wrapped around him as he sat in my lap to cuddle. I love that he isn’t too old for this yet. He hated that his sucker thumb would be covered in sand and we had to go up to the hot tub several times so he could clean it off and suck his thumb for a few minutes before heading back to the beach, which just made me smile. 

Talmage wasn’t quite sure about the sand so he stayed close which was especially nice. After a few minutes would have enough and would prefer to be held and to take a snooze on the beach. He knows what is up I tell you. It sounded good to me as well. He definitely spent most of his time cuddled in someone’s arms and nobody seemed to mind at all. You can never get enough Talmage cuddles. 

This is where Talmage spent most of his time. He loved standing out on the patio and looking out and see the beach and all of the crazy people. He would sit out there forever and we laughed at him all week. 

My cute kids. I want to squeeze them all they are so cute! This is so them in the mornings–jammies, diapers and squeezable faces! 

We made so many wonderful memories at the beach this year and it is hard to put it all into words. I love that we are together as a family for an entire week without any care in the world. I love being with my kids. Really being with them and not having to think about the house or anything else. We just enjoyed each other and we all loved it! I can’t wait to do it again next summer.

There was even an area where you could touch several different animals including star fish, sea cucumbers and lobsters. Brigham kept wanting the worker to catch the fish for him so he could pet it but they said the fish were too fast. He was pretty bummed but they both loved touching everything else.

Talmage is usually so mellow and will sit in his stroller without a fuss at all but as soon as we walked outside he started squawking. Jerlyn thought maybe he just wanted to be held so she picked him up, but no, he wanted to TOUCH everything just like the big kids. I mean what were we even thinking leaving him out?! He reached his hand in and touched the star fish and the sea cucumber and he absolutely loved it as you can see from his face. It was super cute but sad at the same time. I can’t believe that he is already trying to keep up with the big kids. Doesn’t he know that he is my baby?

And, of course, I loved spending time with my girl. She thought that this shark and shark cage were just too cool. Love her!

After the aquarium we headed to San Diego and walked around and just enjoyed the beautiful weather. It was gorgeous!

And I can’t forget pictures of my cute boy in his new “marathon shoes” as he likes to call him. As you can see he is ready for the big race!

We had such a great time! I am so missing the beautiful weather and time with my family. I love the memories we make each year.

This would be how Brigham spent his entire week at the beach–SURFING! He loved every second of it. He would literally stand there for hours on his boogie board just surfing away. He was so funny because he would put the board in the sand and wait for a wave to come. As soon as the water would hit him he would grab his board and head for higher ground. Towards the end of the week though he started getting braver and actually got pretty good. He and Coby had the best time surfing and playing together. I loved watching him be entertained for hours on end. I always knew right where he was which was also very nice. In a few years I guess surfing lessons will be in order.

Right now I want to share my favorite picture from my entire week at the beach. It was one of those spur-of-the-moment type things. We were packing up ready to head home after an amazing week at the beach when I looked out on the patio and Brooklyn and Talmage were taking in the ocean view one last time. I took pictures of them for a few minutes and was enjoying every second of it, but then Brooklyn decided she wanted a picture with all of us. I can always count on her to point out the good photo ops. Love her for that! 

This picture just makes my heart happy. I love that Brooklyn has her pjs on and her smile makes me just want to squeeze her. I love that she is holding Talmage as this is what she is always doing. She is the best big sister and is constantly looking out for her brothers. I love that Brigham has his blankie on his head and his thumb in his mouth. Every morning he puts his blankie on his head and then wraps up with it–we call it his “Pooh Bear Afro” and, of course, the thumb is always a necessity. And Talmage chillin’ in Brooklyn’s lap with just a diaper on is a place that you can find him often. And then there is Troy. I love the look on his face–the proud dad–protector and provider for our family. I can’t get enough of looking at pictures of Troy lately. It is interesting to see how he has changed over the years in pictures. When I first met him he would never smile in a picture and always tried to look so tough. But lately, he is different. He is softer. His face lights up. You can see in his facial expressions how much he loves and cares for our family. I guess the kids have finally broken his tough guy exterior. 

I don’t remember what we were laughing at here but I love that all of our eyes and attention are on Talmage. We seem to be doing a lot of that lately. He is just too cute and he makes all of us so happy!

These pictures remind me that I need to be better about picking up the camera and taking those snapshots because they usually turn out to be my favorite pictures. These captured moments are priceless to me. This is who we are. This is our everyday. It really doesn’t get any better than this.